I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
