Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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