She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
