You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
