I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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