he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
