Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize