this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
