i just wanna soil my oats bro
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
