the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
