Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
