yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He better not be in your backpack
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So. Much. Porn.
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