Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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