Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
