Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
