what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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