I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
