Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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