Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
