so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize