How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
PANTIES FOUND
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