i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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