is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
