what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
