Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He told me they were just razor bumps!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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