i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
