Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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