She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize