Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
