He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i dont even know how to be here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
