roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
