all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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