That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
