tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize