If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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