she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
