Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
