I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
