i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
