low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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