I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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