the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
