Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
