If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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