I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
