Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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