feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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