Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
