Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You pole danced in your parka.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize