Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
