Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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