your room smells of hookers.
And success
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize