You really coming over, don't trick.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize