Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
