I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
