I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
