I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
