I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
