so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
