Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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