yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
