I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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