I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
