So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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